Friendzone: The benefits of being an Abangers

“Ay Kuya, wag niyo na po akong ihatid. Okay lang ako Sir!”

Yan ang tinatawag kong 3 hit combo: KUYA-zoned, PO-zoned at SIR-zoned. Pero lahat yan ay nag ugat sa concepto na kinaayawan ng marami sating mga kalalakihan, ang friend zone. (SFX: Kaibigan lang pala… Kaibigan lang pala….)

So basted ka, tropa lang ang tingin sayo ni Girlie. Ano ka ba? Wag kang malungkot! It’s not the end of the world tsong! Listen, You are now in the perfect position to be the Ultimate Abangers!

Ayaw mo maniwala?

The dreaded FRIEND ZONE… alam niyo yan, fellas. You meet a woman and you start talking to her on the phone regularly. You hang out with her a few times. She might even give you the honor of letting you give her a kiss on the lips. Pero hanggang dun nalang yun. You try your hardest to take it to the next level, but nothing pops off. So what do you do? Or ladies, you meet a guy and you kinda like him, but he just wants things to go a little bit further than you want them to. What do you do?

From a man’s pont of view, the friend zone is usually perceived as the absolute worst place you want to be….

Pero tama aba yun?


My position on the friend zone is a little different than most men. I think the friend zone allows you to get to know the woman better than you would if you were to just hop into a situation where you are dealing with her on an intimate level. Isipin mong maigi, when you’re in a relationship the person that you are with should be like your best friend. There shouldn’t be anything that you can’t tell that person and nothing they shouldn’t be able to share with you. So the best way to start a relationship that is truly worth anything is to start off as friends, and pag sinabi nating Friendship, that incudes being in the friendzone. Yes, you heard it right, FRIENDZONE.

When a woman trusts you with her friendship you can get the information from her that should help you decide if she is even worth your time. A lot of times women tell you things without actually telling you. All you have to do is engage in conversation and listen. Not only that, even if you never get out of the friend zone with that particular woman, she is more than likely to give you insight and information that you can use in the future with other women.

A lot of men think that they have to kick some type of game in order to make sure that they stay out of the friend zone. But the fact of the matter is, the key to staying out of the friend zone is honesty.

All you have to do is be honest with the woman. She will respect that a lot more than if you are pretending to be her friend just to get a taste of her cookies. If you are only trying to get the drawls, then just let her know and see if she is down with it. If she is with it, congrats bro, you have just landed into a “friends with benefits” situation. The good thing about that is that if you really like her than the “situation” has the possibility of turning into a real deal relationship. Don’t be afraid of those types of situations either. Sometimes the friends with benefits can turn out to be the best ones for you. You’ve been friends for so long, and you just begin to know each other so well that it only makes sense that you take things to the next level and pursue a relationship with the person.
Now ladies, you have to know that the friend zone is an asset to you, BUT you have to use it wisely. I repeat, use it wisely. You can’t just go puttin every dude you meet in the friend zone just because you are waiting on Ian Somerhalder type of guy to pop into your life. You need to use the friend zone as a way to get a better understanding of men, and why we do what we do. Choose the men who you put into the friend zone very very wisely. If the man isn’t bringing some sort of value to your life, then you need to cut him off. At least be honest with him and let him know that this relationship is going no further than the occasional phone call, text messages while you’re bored at work, and a frappe from starbucks on your off pay weeks.

If you have a dude that you know you only want to be friends with, you need to tell him so that there are no unrealistic expectations on his part. Wag mo na siyang bigyan ng mixed signals, nasasaktan din yan kahit mukha siyang halaman.

A dude will spend a lot of his time and money just because he thinks he has a shot at becoming more than friends. You don’t really want to do this to a guy who is a genuine good dude. Kawawa naman kung lagi mo siyang pinapakilig and put him in the zone eventually which is di naman niya ineexpect. Tandaan mo Girlie, wala pang Kilig rehabilitation center dito sa Pilipinas, Kaya pag yan hindi naka move on sa sobrang kilig e kasalanan mo yun!

Now if it’s somebody who you don’t really care about and you know he only wants sex, aye that’s all part of the game. You may want the same thing that he wants. Or then again you may not. Just don’t lead the guy on. Let him decide if he wants to be in that friend zone or not.

But then again, being in the Zone do have a lot of benefits! here’s what you should do – take advantage of it! And here’s how:


10. You still get to hang out with the girl all the time, and with absolutely no pressure.
Friends don’t judge! Pwede ka na makipag laro ng PS3 sa kanya while you’re on your pajama and nobody cares. And what more pag naka receive ka ng text from Girlie na- “Hey, slumber party with my girls at my place tonight?” Enjoy that!

9. Learn everything NOT to do in a relationship.
All those times she’s complaining about her boyfriend, take notes. There are a lot of good examples in there of stupid things not to do when you’re in a relationship. It’s secondhand experience at its finest.

8. Her dad doesn’t want to kill you.
Don’t know if you’ve ever met that type of dad that isn’t afraid to go back to jail just to nail that 36mm bullet on your head, but trust me; it’s nice not having to look behind your shoulder every time you walk in to your house.

7. Spent your money on yourself!
Best friends don’t pay for dinner, the movies, and all those COCOLs. You get to spend your money on yourself! You know that’s awesome!

6. New Skill: Ability to talk to girls.
If you’re super awkward around girls like…uh…”Hi miss, uhmmm, ehhh. Wala lang! Hihi!” . Then being able to talk to your crush will definitely help you get used to talking to other girls you’d like to date. So take advantage of it. Once you can talk to her without stuttering, consider yourself leveled up.

5. Learn what she likes…for future use?…
Just like what I’ve said above, the friend zone isn’t a terminal condition. You are/could be in the Abangers mode. All the things you’re learning now could end up being applied later in a future relationship with your friend. And even if you do end up permanently in the fried zone, the info probably has applications mostly everywhere else in life, so really, do start taking notes.

4. The one thing better than a wingman: the WingWoman!
Sure, she probably can’t take one for the team and distract the…more “protective” friends of your target, but she actually has the ability to read a fellow female and help you get a phone number or two. And since she’s your friend, she’d love to help you out with that.


3. Taylor Swift, Adele, etc. have never written a bad song about their friends.
T Swift doesn’t want to burn her best friends picks, Adele doesn’t want to rain fire upon her cuddle buddy, you are safe from lyrical destruction! And if you’re saying “But what about Teardrops on my Guitar,” you know that’s because T Swift was in the same boat as you. You got to sympathize!

2. Here, meet my friend…or my sister…
It’s almost her, but two years younger…and in blond! Seriously though, if you’re good to her, she’ll give you her seal of approval within her network, and maybe even set you up with someone you’re a good match for. Don’t let tunnel vision ruin that…

1. Damn good, honest advice
If there’s anyone that will tell you that you look like a complete idiot in that shirt, it’s your female friends. Listen to them. They know WAYYYYYY more than you do about many important subjects.

So there it is. Don’t get so angry in Justfriendistan that you miss the good things you have in front of you. And if you want a soundtrack for where you’re hanging out, I’d suggest “Almost” by Bowling for Soup, “I’d do Anything” by Simple Plan, “Always Be” by Jimmy Eat World, and of course, “Do I Creep You Out” by the great Weird Al Yankovic. Just don’t go listening “Every Breath You Take” by The Police , anything by Death Cab for Cutie, or “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me” by any of the ten plus artists who thought that wasn’t the best stalker song ever. Creepy.

The friend zone definitely has its purpose, but I think the key to it is communication. If you feel like you’re in the zone and you don’t want to be, you have to let her know. It’s possible that she put you there subconsciously and didn’t know that you really had an interest. Ladies, if you want to put a man in the zone then you HAVE to let him know where he stands if he is making any type of moves on you. Hindi naman nakaka inis kung kakausapin mo siya about your feelings towards him/her, iniiwasan mo lang na pareho pa kayo mag aksaya ng oras sa isa’t isa.

At yan kids ang benefits pag nasa friend zone ka na at wala kang magawa, sa susunod pag uusapan naman natin kung paano i execute ng tama ang “Zone Defense”.


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