The concept of finding THE ONE

I always make it a point to ask my “in a relationship” friends this usual question:

Me: Feeling mo ba siya na talaga? Yung pang for-evs type?

The usual answer:

Her: OO naman!

The usual convo:

Me: Paano mo nasabi yan?

Her: “When you’ve met the one, you know you’ve met the one.”

Me: Teka, yan din yung sinabi mo nung tinanong kita about sa ex mo diba? So kung yung ex mo yung “the one”, tapos yung bago mo “the one” din… parang magulo?

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I always hear people say, “When you’ve met the one, you know you’ve met the one.” Honestly, though, I can’t imagine it actually works that way.

Paano nalang yung ibang tao na akala nila na meet na nila yung the one nila pero nag breakup din eventually? They “knew” they met the one until the relationship continued and failed rather than prospered. If “knowing” that someone is all that’s needed, then the majority of people have let go and lost “the one” several times before finding their final “one.”

So ang dating ay magulo talaga ang konsepto ng “the one” na yan. Not in the sense that there isn’t or couldn’t be one person in our lives who makes it worth living, but the idea that there could only be one person in the world who could fulfill our dreams. I’d rather believe that there are plenty of individuals out there who could potentially be the one.
The chances are less than one in a billion because you won’t meet all seven billion people on the planet. In fact, you won’t meet most of them.

So do the math: If there is only one person in the whole entire world out there for you, what are the chances that you’d come to meet them? Yes, the chances are slimmer than Kim Chui.

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So, meeting the one, if there was truly only one, would have to be a miracle. Believe if you want, but I don’t believe in miracles, only chance. You either meet a person or you don’t meet a person – it’s all by chance. You could argue that there is some mystical hand guiding us towards that one person, but I don’t buy it.

Regardless, chance is chance and whether being lucky and meeting a person you will love forever is simply luck or a greater design does not matter; it will happen or it won’t. The only thing you can do is be damn sure to give it your all when you think you may have hit the lottery.

When asking people, they always give you that half-assed answer of: “You just know.” Just knowing is obviously not information ascertained from somewhere outside of us. Therefore, it must originate form within us; meaning that being in love is simply the way we feel. We either feel we are in love or we don’t. The problem is that we too often relate feeling of love with the bodily changes we experience and not with the changes in the way we see things.

The person who can potentially be “the one” for you is the person who opens your eyes to a new, slightly different reality. He or she will expose you to parts of the world you didn’t know existed. This person will change your life and do so for the positive. He or she will make your life better, a whole lot better.

Throughout our lives, we meet plenty of individuals. Some great, others awful; it’s simply the way it is. But even the awesome people we meet usually aren’t capable of broadening our horizons.

Most people either confirm the beliefs we have or give poor arguments for why we ought to change our beliefs. Very, very few people are actually able to make us believe in something different. The one will make you feel like you are living more because you will literally be experiencing more, even if that doesn’t mean physically experiencing more, but only mentally. When you find the one, your life will be significantly grander.

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You, of course, have to add sexual chemistry to the mix, but since that’s a given, I won’t delve into the details. What’s most important is for us to understand that even when we find one of the ones, it’s not guaranteed to work out. Space and time don’t only regulate the people we meet, but also the people we are – our level of maturity, our humor, our character. Each and every day, you are a different person – the same goes for everyone else.

The real key to finding the one and sticking with this person is meeting him or her at a time when you are both ready to settle down. That is truly the deciding factor. No matter how much you love a person or how much he or she loves you, if either of you aren’t ready to accept that you found the one person to love and cherish forever, then you won’t work out. When we aren’t ready our minds bring up too many questions and concerns, making us waiver, uncertain about how we feel and of what this person actually means to us.

Knowing that you’ve found the one is when you are both certain that neither of you will waiver, or decide to give up. Unfortunately, luck once again plays a role. You may be able to control yourself, but you can’t control other people. That’s why love can be so difficult and complicated. But don’t give up… There’s no reason to live more worthwhile than to love.


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